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Para Besarte y Acariciarte Mejor

A couple weeks ago IL Lurker posted a link on LFF to a clip of Jessica Lagunas' 'Para besarte mejor' an artistic commentary - I believe - on how women perceive themselves and beauty.

''the Imagining Ourselves project has to do more with who we are than how we “look”. Which leads me to question, if most of us women here believe this, how can we change the overrated physical beauty standards?'' - Jessica Lagunas

The link (now removed) is to a three minute clip from an hour long video of Ms Lagunas continuously applying red lipstick. To some with a lipstick fetish this clip is sexy as all hell, and I'd very much like to see the whole video, though I'm pretty sure this was not how the piece was intended. My guess is that by taking the ritual of applying lipstick to the (absurd?) extreme in order to create a supposedly grotesque or ridiculous image the artist is challenging whether this makes women more beautiful/sexy/desirable. I may well be wrong, that's the impression I had.

(begin rambling)

I think this raises some interesting questions about the fetish and society in general. We enjoy admiring the physical beauty of women and value the pleasure that brings to our lives. When women use makeup to enhance the beauty they already have, we like it even more, much more. So does it follow that we value women less without it? That in order to be fully appreciated a girl must be packaged in a certain, socially stylized way? Does society value her less for herself than for her as a sexual object? The title of the forum is 'A community of men and women who share a passion for the painted female mouth?'. Notice it says 'female mouth', ie, objects, not females, ie people.

My belief is that its rare for someone to value another person for who they are. We value them for who they are to us. I don't know most of the people I come in contact with well enough to have any idea who they really are. For example, to me my postman's the happy guy who delivers the mail, and value him for that. I have no idea who he really is as a human being, I just like him being my postman and appreciate that.

Likewise a beautiful woman I pass on the street is just that. Someone who's made my day brighter because seeing her gives me a special happy feeling in my pants and a wistful smile on my face, and I appreciate that too. She's a complete stranger, I know nothing about her, and she's made my life better just by passing me on the street, but it was the way she looked, not who she was.

I think I'm a pretty enlightened guy, I like to think I give all people a certain level of respect and that isn't affected by how good looking they are, the color of their skin or the choices they make, but I still value people in my life differently and for different things. I value my mother a great deal because raised me, that's who she is to me. I value Bill Clinton because I think he helped the world economy, and I dont respect him any less because he's not a beautiful young woman in red lipstick.

I guess the point is that society values peoples merits, and thats a good thing. If you're hard working, intelligent or beautiful society gives you props for that. If you work harder, learn more or make yourself more beautiful, you get props for that. Positive, empowering. Society doesn't have a single ideal, though we all tend to perceive one for ourselves, and people on the bottom end of the bell curve aren't going to get as close to that perceived ideal, but no one will reach it. What matters is that we're improving ourselves as best we can, or want to.

Because of this, I dont think it's always wrong to judge people by how they look. I know that I want to be with a girl who's intelligent, caring, attractive (to me) and into some of the same things I am. When I go out looking for a girlfriend, looks are the easiest to rule out, I can tell in a split second whether I'm attracted or not. If a girl's not wearing lipstick I am much less likely to try find out if she has the other three things I'm looking for in a partner, because doing so takes a lot of time and I already know she's not the one I'm searching for. If I were looking for an employee, the criteria would be different and may not include beauty, but I'd still make quick judgments on them. In public service jobs, beauty *is* valuable to a business, and in that way is something of a commodity, like a paper qualification is.

Some people will think that's shallow. The same people may think that by posting airbrushed photos of impossibly beautiful girls here that I dont value the real people who won't ever look like the fantasy. I think the fantasy has its own value, and I enjoy that as well.

(end rambling).

comments (2)

LHDick writes...
Post back to http://www.lipstickfetish.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=5841&start=12
if you like.
I just wanted to comment that creamy red lipstick isn`t used enough - not in private nor in public - and although it may not be interesting or erotic to the wearer of it, and in fact may even be a bit of a nusiance at times, it tends to give MEN a raised sense of self awareness, and often puts our focus on the face of the person wearing it more than on others, and more than on other features. About 95% of the ladies who have lovely faces - and especially those with beautiful lips - often do themselves some injustice, but perhaps more significantly, are selfish in not coloring their lips more in public. What have we got that we can actually GIVE to others in life anyway. Giving of yourself in such a small way and knowing that you may well even be making the day of others around you and adding joy to their lives - at a small cost to you - is not just worthy, it shows that you care about the world and are not afraid to give of yourself. It reflects your ability to love, and those around you who understand it this way will respect you and even love you the more for it. If you fear that it will bring on unwelcome advances, OK, tone down - but not OUT - in public, but in private or in places where you are being seen by people whom you care about a bit, raise the brilliance of the color, be a bit bold - let us enjoy you even more. AND for crying out loud, don`t just do it once and say - I did it - after an hour, go refresh it and make it bolder. Wall flowers are nice, but guys aren`t terribly drawn to them.

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